I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
