hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
