I accidentally burped into my bong.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
