He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
