I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
