Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
