I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
