your parents love me but you hate me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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