GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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