If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
