I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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