I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
