I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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