maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
