She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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