And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize