Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
