Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
