I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
pop tarts are not kleenex
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
