Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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