How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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