my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize