I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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