dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
