nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
