Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
