Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just gargled with NyQuil
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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