It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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