smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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