But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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