but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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