We're facebook friends in real life
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
