well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
