And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
