she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
