Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
