so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
