Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
