We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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