Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
