Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
