Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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