Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
