i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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