i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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