if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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