If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We have so much sex to catch up on
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
