I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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