Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
