exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
