In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
