we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
