did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
