My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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