I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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