Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
