BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
