He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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