If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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