So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
