I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize