someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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