my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
