Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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