I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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