took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
