How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
